My Flesh Contends with God’s Spirit in Me.

My Spirit is Willing but My Flesh is Weak.
Galatians 5:17
For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.  

Mark 19:38
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
This has been my quandary for this week since my surgery last Thursday. I was depressed yesterday. I knew what I needed to do but I found myself reluctant much like a sick child not wanting to take her medicine in order to get well. With all of the sundry things that have challenged my health so far this year, I am not happy with the changes in my body. I am feeling my age and lamenting over how things used to be, therefore, the struggle between my flesh and God’s spirit in me has become more noticeable. Please forgive me for my pity party. 
In order to turn things around, I need to remind myself of the many things that I have to be grateful for, which to name a few are healthcare to be able to take care of myself, house and home, loving husband and family, and the resources to shake off this mood. Praise be to God for He loves me just the same. Learning to admit this is the first step to a healthy recovery. It is much like following doctor’s orders to improve and get better, therefore, I need to sing praises to God, pray, read my Bible, and confess my sins.
Isn’t God great?! He is full of mercy and grace for He knows that I will fall short more than once in my lifetime. Victory goes to God!!

My Prayer: Dear Father in heaven, forgive me for feeling sorry for myself and being reluctant to turn to You for help. Restore to me the joy of Your Salvation and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Amen.
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God is My Strength!

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Isaiah 12:2 
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.
I am writing this following my surgery yesterday. It would be easy for me to grumble/complain but I know where my strength comes from. God makes all things possible. I need to recognize my limitations and not overdo. God is my strength and my salvation. He gives me the ability to refrain from using my pain and discomfort as an excuse to be unkind or ugly to anyone else. As I was going into the operating room, I had a moment of anxiety but I reminded myself that I put myself in His hands. He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. With His help, may I not mistreat others badly because I am not well or recovering from surgery. I am responsible to take care of myself so that I heal better and I am less tempted to say something that I would later regret.
When you are faced with an illness or recovering from surgery remember that God is your strength and healer too.
My prayer: Dear Father in heaven, You are my strength and portion. I thank You for a successful surgery and I pray for Your healing as I recover. To You be all glory and honor.  I also prayer for those  who are need of Your healing touch. Amen.
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Looking Back On,

The Many Roles That I Have Been Blessed to Serve.
1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
In my life, I have had the pleasure of serving others in different capacities. I have served in the Air Force. I had the honor of serving at my church in Sunday School for a couple of years. Serving as a children’s leader in Bible Study Fellowship for a little more than 4 years was very rewarding. I learned a lot from being in leadership there. I have served in Celebrate Recovery for a couple of years. Currently, I am serving in the Williamson County Christian Women’s Connection. Some of my hardest lesson have come from these roles. When God tells you it is time to make a change don’t put it off. He has a way of making you change and sometimes it can be quite uncomfortable. One more than one occasion God made me make a change and I did not like it and I put up quite a fit over it. Looking back I see that He did know what was best for me. Leaving one position helped me to value the next one. A dear friend said to me that I seem to get into competitive arguments (if you know what I mean). I have to say that I did not want to admit it but she was right. God truly has a way of humbling me. Humility is not thinking less of myself. It is thinking of myself less and putting others first. In other words, I am not to be glory seeking for my benefit.
Matthew 23:12
 For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
James 4:10 
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. 
By God’s grace, I seek to be more humble in my serving and not get into competitive arguments. It is not always easy but it is rewarding. Thanks be to God for all that He has done and yet to do in me.
My Prayer: Dear Father in heaven, thank you for teaching me what I need to learn and for helping me along the way. Forgive me for the times I seek my glory and cause me to serve others out of humility and love. Amen.
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Grumble Vs. Victory in Jesus!

Troubles Can Work Good in Us or They Can Be An Excuse.
2 Corinthians 4:17 (NIV)
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  

Why is it that often believers use their troubles as an excuse to mistreat others? I did this when I was younger until one day I realized that it was wrong to mistreat others because I was not feeling good. When Moses lead his people out of Egypt they grumbled and complained often. It seemed like that there was nothing that would keep them happy for long. God gave them manna and quail. He provided water. Yet, they grumbled and wished that they have never left Egypt. I am not much different but I am trying to rely on God as my helper to overcome my grumbling ways. When I do not feel well is when I am most prone to grumble or complain. It is all a matter of perspective. I have to stop and think about others who have it harder than I do and realize the cost Jesus paid for my sins. I can turn to the scriptures to be reminded of God’s goodness and He will sustain me.
Psalm 54:4 (NIV)
 Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.
Psalm 55:22 (NIV)
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Everything that happens in my life serves a purpose. Will I grumble or reach out to God in prayer for His amazing grace to help me? Grumbling does me no good and it does not encourage others nor does it make me good company. For the glory that it is meant to achieve in my life far outweighs all the trouble. When I consider Jesus as He went through the trails and crucifixion, who am I too complain?  He scorned the shame of the cross and was obedient unto death. All things are possible with God. He has the power to help me to bear my cross.

So are you a grumbler or do you desire victory in Jesus? When are you most prone to grumble?
My Prayer: Dear Father in heaven, forgive me when I grumble or complain. Help my to seek You and Your strength and grace. May I not forget what Jesus suffered on my behalf. Amen
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What Am I Thankful For?

Difficult Times and Difficult People

I saw a post recently on Facebook that said, ‘When God wants you to grow, He makes you uncomfortable.’ There have been many times in the first part of this year that have made me uncomfortable. To be honest, I have not accepted them too well. It has only been in hindsight that I have come to appreciate those times. God has been ever faithful and has seen me through them with me fussing and fuming along the way. The outcome has always been worth the trial and the uncomfortableness. If only I could learn to recognize what God is doing and trust in Him more to work things out for my good. I have to admit that I can be someone else’s difficult person for I am not a perfect saint by any means. The verse that comes to my mind is Philippians 2:12-13,
12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
Yes, God does have a purpose for everything. He has made each person on purpose for a purpose. Whether or not we acknowledge this is up to each person. So I give thanks for those times when I am challenged by a difficult time and/or difficult person. When I take time to seek Him, He will show me His plan and help me to make the right choice of action or give the right reply. May I not forget the times that He has proven Himself faithful, trustworthy, and true to His promises.

Have you ever stopped to think that in your difficult moments that God has something for you to learn from it all?
My Prayer: Dear Father in heaven, I give You thanks that You love me enough to encourage me to grow. Forgive me for the times that I have complained. Help me to learn that You are working all things out for my good. Be with those who are in their difficult times and cause them to see Your hand in it all. Amen.
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What Has Occurred Since I Started My Blog;

Some Amazing Things
Romans 12:2 (AMP)
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
I first started out writing this blog to encourage others but yet God had another purpose in it for me. He used it to change me by renewing my mind, by its ideals and its new attitude, so that I would know what is good and acceptable in His sight for me. I started out on passages of scripture that where important to me. God took it a step further and had me apply what I was blogging about in my life and use His word to answer the issues that where going on in my life. I am amazed at the power of His Word. It proves what Hebrews 4-12 reads, 
 For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the [a]breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart.
This is exactly what God has been doing in me as I spend time in His word. I rejoice in this because He is making me new. Like Mercy Me sing in their song ‘New Lease on Life’ it is down with the old and up with the new. I may not always get it right but according to Mercy Me’s song ‘Flawless‘ the cross has already won the battle. God has made me His own.
Taste and see that the Lord is good. His mercies are new every morning. Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. May you grow closer to Him as you read and study His word.
My Prayer: Dear Father in heaven, I rejoice as You have made me new. May others be drawn to You as they see You in me. Amen.
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The Truth About Me.

Without Christ and With Christ
Without Christ, I am prone to self pity, withdrawing when conflict arises, and use passive-aggressive behavior to try to manipulate others. I am also an emotional eater and will use food to try to comfort myself. I am a grumbler and complainer too. Destined to spend eternity without God. I would not make a good friend.
With Christ, I am God’s chosen, holy and beloved (Colossians 3:12). God rejoices over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). God is gracious to me and shows mercy to me (Isaiah 30:18). I no longer stand condemned (Romans 8:1). I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). I am called to a newness of life and mind (Romans 12:1-2). God has given me everything I need to live a truly good life and bestowed on me His great promises so that I may escape the corruption in the world (2 Peter 1:3-8). God will help me resist temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Let me not forget that I am forgiven (Colossians 3:13). As a beloved and chosen with newness of life and forgiven by God, I can love others as Christ first loved me and forgive as I have been forgiven. Thus I make a better mother, daughter, sister, wife and friend not because of anything I did but because of what Christ did for me and the changes He is making in me.
There is so much to be gained from believing in Jesus and what He did for me. In the two links underlined, I have three versions of the scripture which I have found to be quite helpful. I have God’s approval through Jesus therefore I need no other. Whatever approval I do receive from others I now consider as a gift from God and not something that I must have.
It is my hope and prayer that I can encourage and enlighten others to strengthen their faith and draw others to know Him better.
My prayer: Dear Father in heaven, I give You many thanks for making me Yours through Your son, Jesus. Help to remember that I have Your approval and not to seek after the approval of men. May others be strengthened in their faith and draw others to You. Amen.
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Sharing My Story with You.

Where I am Today.

For I am not ashamed to admit that I am a believer in Christ Jesus. Without my faith, I am sure that I would not be where I am today. Having had a number of struggles and tragic losses, I could very well have ended up being dependent on other things to cover my pain. Or I could  possibly even made an attempt to end my life. It has not always been easy. There have been times when I was persecuted for what I believe. Yet, God has been ever faithful and His word has been a comfort and my mainstay. Sharing is what I am called to do.
I have not always gotten it right and there were times when my life did not reflect Christ. Yet, I returned to my first love that of Christ. Now, I delight myself in the Lord and his word as often as I can.
But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me. 2 Timothy 1:12b
Furthermore, I rejoice in the fact that my husband cherishes me. Our children that are strong independent individuals. God has blessed me with a number of wonderful fellow Christian friends. I attend church regularly as well as Bible study. I am active with Williamson County Christian Women’s Connection.
Moreover, God has helped me to reconcile with my mother and we have a beautiful new relationship. I attend Celebrate Recovery to continue to work on my hurts, hang-ups, and habits. God is still at work in my life. He is faithful to complete the good work He began in me and will complete at the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

 My Purpose in Sharing with You

After all, I share my story with you so that you may know where I am coming from and trust what I say to be true to the best of my ability. God has called me to testify to His goodness. (Acts 20:24, However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.)
Grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus.
My prayer: Dear Father in heaven, thank you for this venue to testify to You and the good news of Jesus Christ. Continue to work in me and through me so that I may a blessing to those around me. The glory and honor be Yours now and forevermore. Amen.
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One of The Seasons of Life!

It is Well with My Soul!
Horatio G Spafford, 1873 
Verse 1
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

  • Refrain:

    It is well with my soul,
    It is well, it is well with my soul

This is one of my many Favorite Hymns. I read that he wrote this hymn in the midst of his grief. I am in the season of grief in my life. I, especially, like the first verse when it sings of grief like sea billows roll. This year so far I have lost a cousin to suicide, followed shortly by my father’s death last month, and today my son’s paternal grandmother died. I am saddened by her death because in her grief she could not bear to embrace her grandson. They both missed out on shared memories. Even so, it is well with my soul.
Shout for joy, you heavens;
    rejoice, you earth;
    burst into song, you mountains!
For the Lord comforts his people
    and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
God, in His time, comforts His people according to their need. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He knows my pain and His heart aches for my loss. He is a God of compassion for His people which includes me. He knows my needs and will supply all I need in His time. He will be my comfort and my mainstay.

In Ecclesiastes chapter 3 it is beautifully written about the times in our lives. Verse 4 reads, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. I guess it is my time to weep and to mourn for now but there will come a time when I will laugh and dance again.

Take time today and remember to show love to those closest to you for our days are numbered and we do not know when we may not have the chance again to let them know how much that they matter to us.

My prayer: Dear Father, though my heart is heavy I know that You are near and in time You will comfort me. Please be with those who were the closest to those I lost and comfort them as You know best. Strengthen all of us by Your grace and in the comfort of knowing You. Help me to treasure the memories that I have and to love those around me. Amen.

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Air Force Training and Service to My Country

My Air Force Training

My Years of Training in the United States Air Force

 After high school, I went to Air Force Basic Training in San Antonio, Texas, in the summer of 1984. Following basic training, I went to Colorado for Air Force Technical school. I was training to be a munitions system specialist. I would go on to handle, store, inspect, and deliver Aircraft munitions. After training, I went back to Bergstrom AFB and served 2 years there in the Air Force Reserve.
I made an attempt at living at home and commuting to the University of Texas. I majored in electrical engineering, big mistake. Physics class presented me the hardest course. I joined the Air Force ROTC which only made it harder because I had to take 15 to 18 hours a semester. Yet, I had too much fun in the ROTC. I especially enjoyed going to football games. Gradually, my grades started to reflect this and I had to drop out. I made the decision to go full-time active duty.

Going from Reserves to Active Duty

In 1986 after going active duty, I went to Tyndall AFB in Pensacola, Florida. This would be my first active duty assignment. I was a bit of a recluse there and I met my first husband while stationed in Florida in 1987. In August of 1988, I received orders to go to Korea for a remote tour. In February of 1989, I flew home to get married and returned to Korea to finish my tour and change my follow on assignment.
My husband returned to Florida and received his orders for Morbach Air Base, Germany. I distinctly remember putting in for a joint assignment knowing that God would answer this request. God indeed answered because I later received my orders to Hahn Air Base. By September 1989, I was in Germany. I found out that I was pregnant in October 1990. We were in Germany until his death in December 1990. I took a hardship assignment back to Bergstrom AFB.  My son was born in July 1991. I would be there until the base closed in 1992. As of July 15, 1992, I was honorably discharged from the military. God was with me every step of the way. He was my comfort and mainstay.

My Faith in God Sustained Me

It was times like this that I look back and see one set of footprints in the sand and know that Jesus carried me through. If it was not for my faith in Jesus, I am not sure how I would have managed to get through that time in my life. However, I am now blessed with a handsome young man that my son has become. I am grateful for the places and experiences that I went through as well as for all the people I met along the way. I leave you with this verse because God never wastes a hurt.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
 Related Link: My Story
My disclaimer: I know that every believer’s relationship to God is different and unique. You may not have the same experiences and that is okay. I am sharing because I want to bring Him the glory for what He is doing in me and impart to you what I have learned from His Word.
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